I like cooking. I watch a LOT of the Food Network. I try new things, I like spicy food. I'm a culinary adventurer.
Or am I?
This article, sent to me by my sister, blew my mind. It's a bit of a long read, but I was entranced, amused, and a little nauseated.
3 comments:
Terrible.
"Like some odd cross between pork and beef, there's nothing quite like it. Can't think of a lovelier way to celebrate the Chinese Year of the Dog."
oh, my god, that was...awesome!
and this nugget:African-born Houston Rockets center Dikembe Mutombo once stated that Yamamoto's chimpanzee stew "is better than me mum makes back in the Congo."
i've heard a better line from mutombo, on sports radio. well, it's an alleged one, from a guy why was @ a bar when mutumbo was @ georgetown, and mutumbo came in, held his arms wide, and asked, "who wants to sex mutumbo?" (in fact, i just heard that line referenced again)
"brown bear poached from Yosemite National Park."
hey now, that's hitting a little close to home.
"The birds are netted in the wild, fattened on a diet of oats in captivity, then suffocated in cognac and roasted whole. The eating of them was once considered so great a sin that, by tradition, the diner was to veil his or her eyes in shame with a napkin. Strangely, though, this only enhances one's experience by forcing concentration on the taste and smell of the precious warbler, its enticing odor captured by that same funereal serviette."
that's a lot to unpack. would i mind being suffucated in cognac? probably. eating that bird is a sin, so i won't look while i eat it, well out of sight out of mind it is. funny. but, i'm really curious about the blindfolded eating. one, how do you eat, i'm talking logistics. two, i wonder if that really works. i'm going to eat some pizza like that soon.
"chasing the seal with the Muscat", okay, it's totally out of context and the muscat's not an animal, but i thought that was funny, chasing a seal with a muscat.
"I kill lion on safari in Tanzania," he relates of one skinned carcass. "She guard two cubs, and I kill all three. Cubs we roast for Sultan of Brunei, and the heart of mother lion I barbecue for Donald Trump. I keep body. Maybe make steaks, and stew of rest. Lion not good meat. No fat, but people want to eat, so I hunt them."
i'm not sure why, but i read this and thought, 'now this is too much.'
but he brought me back into the fold with this:"People from PETA, how you say -- retards?"
"The Phoenix zoo have lot of monkey," shrugs Yamamoto. "Sometime they lose one. Maybe they think it escape. Maybe they should pay their employee better. For guard on night shift, $500 is lot of money. Same for sea lion at SeaWorld. If sea lion not perform in show, sea lion go bye-bye."
holy shite!
it was a long article, as was this comment, but i really appreciated reading this guy's story. he's a bit much, but can you imagine going to one of those parties? odd life man.
finally, the guy may be going to hell for this alone, "As if these revelations were not bizarre enough, I'm a bit grossed out by Yamamoto's admission that he has an unsavory agreement with some local mortuaries to harvest kidneys and other internal organs for him from children and teenagers who have died in car accidents. But Yamamoto's ultimate desire to prepare the most unthinkable of dinners is what really sends shivers down my spine."
or this, "One day I hope I can cook whole Mexcan," sighs Yamamoto. "Maybe baby Mexcan that mother sell to me. Then I make for my good friend Jon Kyl. I know Senator will like to eat Mexcan. He only like Mexcan when on his dinner plate."
those two quotes killed the redeeming parts of the story for me.
I debated putting that up there. But I heard a radio show a while ago that talked about the napkin-over-the-head bird dish ("So God can't see that you're eating this sinful dish") and a sausage that you wrap in gold leaf ("it's inert-- it won't harm you at all") so I'm curious about it.
I just vetted the article again... I hope the Woodys don't think I was being insensitive... honestly, I was grossed out and barely following the story by that point in the article. I don't believe that. Flat-out. I do not believe it. There's a lot about the wild animals that I don't believe or don't want to believe too. Anyway, I doubt a lot about that article.
Gold leaf sausage. I'm serious.
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